Haven’t read the Book for so long a time. Staying home for so long a time already stirs my peaceful mind. I come to realize however my parents love me, their different belief influences me adversely. Maybe when I go back, I should go to church as before. I need to go back to the church life.Even if the reason is I want to meet my future brother. I need to get closer to God. Sometimes I would prefer to live abroad as it would be easier for me to get to God’s people without being so worldly. Sometimes I just wonder if it is all right that we change the Bible study and the church into a huge network of relationship. I read a sister’s blog by chance and then I am totally attracted by her. I hope I would also write something like hers.

Today Boss asked me how thing were going in the office. I told him my true opinions. He seemed to think about assign another task to me. I wonder if I could do it. I don’t want to do everything here in the company. Better leave some chance to others.

I still love translation and writing but I could not write any more. My brain is as empty as my balance.

As to office work, I just do not understand why so many people are complaining, their salary being high or low. Why?Why?Why? This is of course the question for my boss not for me, but I couldn’t help thinking about it. Anyway, complaining is never a good attitude. Either you make a difference or you keep silent.

It is very silly of me today to share the good news of a coworker. Other guys complain how these guys pose different faces before and after. Isn’t it ridiculous? It is your job, not your privilege. I would like to do my job happily and I am so lucky to do things I love so much. Just as I am lucky enough not to have to lie in most cases.

Couldn’t help thinking of my professor. It was last year this time he was gone. I really miss him a lot.

Watched Bridget’s Diary yesterday. So funny. I just like British English. Things like “it is pure. Nothing else. Only sex” just made me laugh. Just as we discussed the other day, what is pure man-woman relationship since pure can be either clean or entire. Quite funny. Playing with words seems just my cup of tea. 

And my passion for Jane Austen’s novels is once again fanned up. Just wonder how someone could ever write great things like that. I really like the culture of that time but of course, people at that time might feel just different. As little stone said, in no age we could enjoy so much freedom as in ours. 

My brain and vocabulary fails me. I haven’t written this blog for so long at time. Maybe next time I can write a little more. My brain is as blank as what? This time not as my salary card, luckily enough~ 

And the first day back to work was happy, too. Did what I should do and also received a new task, and talked to a coworker in English as he enjoys studying English so much. I like to see people make progress~

It is a new year, a new start anyway. And one of my new year wishes is to resume this Blog. I am back to Edu2DO again. Translation, writing and reading are still my passions so far. LoL.

Happy New Year to All in Edu2Do and dear Ellesse!

Remember last time I shared a story with Fatmom. It is about a faithful guy waited God at home but God did not show up. The guy asked God why. God said, oh, actually I visited in disguise of the thirsty postman, the hungry kid, etc. Then later Fatmom mentioned in her email some low-keyed rich men, and added, “just like the God in your story”. Oh, it occurred to me again that different people had different interpretation of the same thing.Today I think it again and my focus is why some rich men wanted to be low keyed. It seems a different “showing-off”. Trust me, I have no bad intention here. I mean, nowadays, when so-called celebrities are showing off this brand or that, and when the less known brand or the fake brand things are worn by people like uniform, the real rich give them all up and follow their own path.No need to deny that some people have to be dressed like this or that as long as they need to make a living. The white-collars are not exception. Actually, you have no choice at all and you have to follow the trend as you have no power to say no. However, for the real rich, they are no afraid of being thrown out of work, etc. Therefore, I say, being low-keyed is another way of showing off, no matter how unconsciously. And of course no need to deny, I  hunger for such low-keyed lifestyle. LOL.

Unexpectedly, I spent much time this morning exchanging emails with guys from Edu2do. And we were discussing about website, the future and current focus of the website. Did not expect I would have so many thoughts on it. I am barely tech-literate. One thing to get all volunteers to participate is to have them joggle down their sparks of thoughts while translating, I started to comment but was frustrated. First I did not find the right place to comment, then I could not read my comment directly. Only when you experience it yourself, can you counter endless seemingly minor but surely disheartening questions. And our forum serves more a bulletin for task assignment instead of community. There are of course certain reasons behind it. Anyway, I would hope to see more metaphysical topics there.  On one hand, we are translating things on Web2.0, Teaching2.0, Everything 2.0, on the other hand, here in China, we are striving to help poor-stricken children to have access to education. What a stark contrast. Distance Education is still not for remote area though people at the start may think so. 

Sparks to share:

http://www.elearnspace.org/blog/

Would it create a greater impact than small-scale individual endeavors? And why do we duplicate what already exists - do we still pursue personal recognition even in our altruism? 

 This applies not only to non-profit or charitable websites or organs but also applies to churches, too. While small groups move fast, scale does mean a lot for organization resources sharing. That is small is neat but big is significant. It would be ideal to be independent in style but able to be integrated quickly when there is a project. The key point is which is more important to you, the fame or the influence of a certain organization or the result of a common project. More thoughts on DNA map. As a considerate and caring person, I may seem very friendly toward newcomers or people in need. They may mistake this as I want to be friends with them. Therefore, when they keep approaching me, I feel at a loss if I don’t think the person is my “friend-type”. I am general friendly but I am not purpose-oriented one. I regard doing good as my responsibility as a human being (not to mention God’s angel), and I don’t want to earn friendship by help to others. If friendship is too pure a word, let’s say guanxi. “You should try to be more outgoing in social situations, even when they make you uncomfortable.” The question is when I tell people to be tolerant and sincere, they don’t think I am being serious… 

Found an interesting DNA map test website from Danny’s blog. I happened to be on such kick these days. Of course, I visited the website without delay.The result is I am a considerate inventor. And the following are two suggestions: I am much more interested in my relation to others so I changed the original order:
If you want to be different:•  Because other people would benefit immensely from your understanding and insight, you should try to be more outgoing in social situations, even when they make you uncomfortable. Others will want to hear what you have to say!  Can a translator or a writer be an inventor? If so, I will try to develop in this direction. Considerate seems to be my largest attribute. I got this attribute shown ever since college. And later on, friends, coworkers and other people frequently say I am considerate, loving, careful, etc. See the comment? It seems I have to listen and to say even if I am not interested. Of course, as God’s angel, I need to love those unlovable ones, right? 

If you want to be different:•  Try applying your creativity to more artistic arenas, and letting your imagination take less practical forms. That is to say, I should day dream less. And see artistic arenas, sure writing and translation are art, right? That is to say, translation is the right thing for me?

Chatted with Allan a little bit today. I mentioned translation and charity are where my passion lies. He remarked, translation is also help to others, oh, I never thought of that. All in a sudden, I came to see I should put more effort into my hobby. 

As to help to others, translation of Vision Board series is a good example. It actually involved interaction among the translator, the author and the reader. A pity I did not start my own Vision Board yet as the software is not free. This is of course not that justifying but I guess not many people in

China are used to the idea of buying software when there are so many perpetual Betas.

I talked about tolerance the other day. If others do us wrong, we need tolerance and forgiveness. However, what if we do others wrong? I know I have hurt other people’s feelings, especially their kindness to me, and sometimes there is just no way to say “I am sorry”.  I have a classmate who treated me quite nice but I did not like her way of caring at the time. After so many years, I did not have any news from her and the more I think of the past, the more I feel the heaviness of my sorrow. This is why I still sit here before the PC to write my blog though I have millions other urgent issues to tackle with. I feel if I don’t write anything about it, my soul will suffer the torture all the time. I know it is the first vital step for me ever to look at it and voice it out, otherwise, it is hard for me to go on with my belief, which asks me to be loving.  

One day, her email came to me all in a sudden, It is not to me but to many people. You may imagine how grateful I am to God! We exchanged emails for several days. I grabbed the chance to reply and initiate more emails. However, she disappeared again. I know her emails are real luxury and I did not expect too much. However, I keep praying: Oh, God, Thank you for her ever sending me emails. I know you are answering my prayers. God, you know how much I want to keep in touch with her. Let us be connected again and let me at least say something to show my care. It is hard to say I am sorry but at least let me say something about the past.  

I am grateful enough for this miracle and still hope I will get one more email from her. However, I know God has his own plans and maybe for this incident, things come to a full stop.  And also, to those, whom I hurt, I am sorry. I am willing to love again. I know it is hardest thing to mend broken friendship or whatever relation, I still want to try. May God Help me. I should have written more but then my thoughts was broken by something else. Anyway, God will know my sincerity and He will set up a bridge for me.

My sister and I are planning to hire a teacher for a primary school in Lantian,

Xi’an. Though the same region of

Xi’an, it takes 5 hours for a one-way trip to get there. This area is a little bit better than other remote areas as it has school buildings but teachers are lacking. It costs 3 to 400 yuan to hire a teacher. I am thinking of hiring one for them. Initially I was thinking of giving all money to them but later on I changed my mind: each family should pay at least 5 yuan per month to have a sense of responsibility. My friend is suggesting “this education charity should be run like a loan program, asking students to sign an agreement that they will pay a percentage of their income in future to the education fund, if they get a paid job in the future(oh, that would be many years later.)The main point is to have them do something to repay and to aware that they need to repay other’s kindness.Luckily, I have got the first sponsor, my cousin, to donate 5 yuan per month…Though currently we have enough funds, extra help is always welcome. I need to prepare some receipt.

I am totally occupied in this project recently that even translation becomes a second priority…I myself am surprised why I have such passion for this. I am not success-oriented or ambitious but this time I know instinct kindness is not enough, I need to bring my potential into full play.

Am I a little bit closer to the goal of setting up a charity website within 3 years?